So I haven't blogged in awhile. I have had a lot going on in my life that has had my mind preoccupied and just, to be honest, have been down in the dumps and haven't wanted to. It is hard to be motivational and inspirational when you are just trying to get by in your own life.... but I AM BACK!!!!
So much has happened and changed in my life in the past few months, at times it has been overwhelming. I FINALLY started working full time at my new job at Medifast last week. It has been so new, different and scary, but I think I am going to love it and be successful at it. My grandmother died three weeks ago...she was 89. There is so much more to that story than just losing her. See, I never really had a relationship with my grandmother. Her and my mother were not close at all and always had a very strained relationship.... Nanny was very close to my 2 cousins, but never had much to do with my sisters and I. Two years ago, Nanny's health was getting worse and we made the decision to move her to Alabama from Georgia so my mom could care for her. What we all really didn't realize was that this was our second chance to mend the differences and have that relationship we never had with her. How amazing is that? Who gets those chances???? We were so blessed to have that chance and I think I am correct when I say none of us would change a thing. Her health declined over the last two years and it was a blessing how she went....it was so peaceful...she just slowing quit breathing and she looked so peaceful... We all sat in her room with her those last few days....It was very hard as she had pneumonia and was struggling to breath and was somewhat unconscious. The morning that she passed she regained consciousness for a very short time and she told me she loved me.....Those were the most special three words I have ever heard I think.....We were all able to tell her we loved her and that it was ok for her to let go....I miss her, it feels strange her not being here, but I know she is in Heaven able to see and hear again, with her love. So it is selfish of me to wish she was still her, but I do miss her. I will miss that sweet face, her always saying "hey darlin", her big big belly laugh and all her neat and funny stories. She touched so many lives when she was here. I kept questioning God, as to why he wouldn't take her sooner. Well the night she passed away and we were in her room at the nursing home, I had a huge Aha moment. As we stood around talking to all the helpers and nurses that had taken care of her, each and every one told us how special Nanny was to each of them and how she had touched each and every one of them in some way.......So there you go....He has got this. He always has and always will. Will I ever learn to quit questioning him.........In HIS time.......
I am trying to get back to my running.. I have been sick on and off for 2 weeks now....So between this, Nanny's death and my career change, I have been a bit scattered. I feel just run down..I want and Need to run so bad..It is a huge mental release for me as much as it is physical. I will get there....I need to get well so I can get back on a regular schedule and I think then as things fall into place in my life, I will feel more in control and not feeling like my life is spinning out of control.....
